So very sad

We lost Lois on Sunday. Two and a half weeks after Rusty died. They will both be missed. Both COVID 19 with underlying health issues.

We also lost Hal on Wednesday. Age related illness. That is three in just three weeks here in the park. Friends and neighbors.

This is a very sad time. Just got word another friend will most likely loose her husband very soon. Parkinsons and cancer. It is beginning to be overwhelming. So much loss and sadness.

On the positive side, I decided it was time I did something, anything. I have done nothing but read for the last four or five weeks, and I am getting tired of that. I am taking steps to getting my life back, a whole new normal. I just signed up for the real estate class.

There are so many variables and unknowns. Will I be able to do it? Will I like it? Will I find work if I pass the exam and get licensed? I had to spend money on the class when I am out of funds and don't know where any will be coming from. A calculated risk. I hope it will pay off. I'm afraid I won't be able to understand it, but I have always done well in adult education classes and of course my copier repair training, so I should do well with this. But I am still afraid I will fail. But I need to earn some money and now is the perfect time to take the class since we can't go out and do anything. That was all before my surgery and pump head. Have had memory and cognitive issues since then. I'm hoping it has been long enough for my brain to recover. If not, I guess I will have to find a way around it.

Wish me luck.

Feedback welcome, donations also welcome

Well, what to write first....

Lois, we think, has finally turned a corner. Have been getting daily reports on her condition (COVID 19), and as of yesterday she is off the ventilator and dialysis. They say she is responding to commands. We are all very hopeful that she will recover. It was looking pretty grim for a while. Say a prayer.

My disability appeal was denied yet again. I now have a lawyer handling it, it could take up to a year to get a hearing. And I still don't qualify for unemployment. Thank goodness I had some savings, or I wouldn't have survived this long. Between my savings, contributions from people that care, and the few crafts I managed to sell, I haven't gone too far in debt. Right now it is basically the 4k worth of dental work I had done in November. I'm paying a little bit on it each month, but am out of money, so I don't know how long I will be able to do that, and no one is buying crafts.

My gofundme has done nothing, but is still active.  https://www.gofundme.com/f/7bwuv-healing-holly  It has been very disappointing. But with so many people out of work, kind of understandable.

Saw a post online yesterday from a friend in Vermont. She mentioned that she was thinking about getting her real estate license. It was a light bulb moment for me. That is something I could do here. The online classes and the whole process would be less than 1k, and I would have a career that would see me thru retirement. On MY terms. No corporate bullshit or expectations. A fairly light job, even I can move paper. No stocking shelves or excessive and freaky hours. I would basically be my own boss, which I do well with. And there is lots and lots of real estate for sale here.

I'm giving myself the weekend to think it over. I will decide on Monday. It is a 90 hour online class and exam, then the licensing exam. Then I would have to find a broker to work with. We have one right here in town. I might even qualify for unemployment for a bit while in training and testing. It would be an honest attempt at getting back into the work force. They like that kind of thing.

Feedback, comments and suggestions welcome.

Finally got my new phone up and working. That only took two weeks, but it is done, and my old number forwarded to my new number. I still haven't learned my new number, going to take some time.

Hoping now that we have hit the 100's in daytime temps, that I get some motivation and get some crafting done while I am stuck indoors. I need to make some sympathy and mother's day cards. I have a whole new batch of dies I haven't tried out yet. I also have several other crafts waiting in the wings I want to do, and painting. Haven't done any painting since the middle of March. It's been too nice out to be indoors. Enjoying the moderate temps while I could. I did make a few cards the other day as I had a request for a custom birthday card.

Again, any comments, feedback or suggestions on the whole real estate thing is welcome. There are very few jobs here in Quartzsite, and most of those are the kind of job that I can no longer do. Quickmarts, fast food, DG, Family Dollar... Regular jobs are few and far between and mostly seasonal.

My life completely changed in a heartbeat, and I am still adjusting and figuring things out. Contributions gladly accepted to get me through as well. And very much appreciated.

Quarantine Continued

I have no idea how long it's been. Granted, I stayed home most of the time, but I did have some social interaction. Now there is none. Can't go hang out or have a cup of coffee with anyone, can't go across the street to visit a neighbor, and only make one trip out per week to deal with food and mail.

I have been denied unemployment again, and disability has denied me again too. I have no idea how I am going to survive financially. I can't be the only person that slips thru the cracks. I don't have a spouse with income, don't seem to qualify for any kind of financial aid, and I have to say, I am very discouraged. Haven't been this discouraged in a long, long time.

Still waiting to get the new phone situated. Tried to port the number I have had for 15 years to my brother's account, they couldn't do it. So I am getting a new number. I wasn't willing to give up my old number, it is on everything. So I decided to port the old number to Google Voice. It took several tries and about four days, but I finally got it. Once the new number is up and running, I will forward the old number to the new number. Once the number was ported, my phone didn't work any more, so that meant no phone service. I downloaded the GV app and got it working, so I have limited phone service and can get voice mail if I am out of range. As long as I am within wifi distance, it works. Better than nothing.

I wish I could find a way to jump start any creativity, but depression and creativity don't go hand in hand. I will just have to wait it out, but feel guilty because all I am doing is reading. I didn't even get dressed for three days in a row. Why bother?

I did the post office and market run yesterday. Will have to go to the post office again on Monday to pick up my sim card and dried bean order. Otherwise I wouldn't be going out for another week.

My friend and neighbor lost her husband of 65 years the other day. She wasn't allowed to stay with him, so she wasn't there when he passed. I wasn't with Jake when he died either and I know how that feels. I feel so bad for her, and people aren't allowed to gather around her and support her. I know how that feels too. This virus will have so many far reaching effects that haven't been considered.

So with Rusty passing, the whole phone situation and the financial denials, it has been a pretty sucky week. I suppose it could always be worse. But I am pretty unhappy with life in general at the moment. Just have to wait it out.

I'm probably going to have to find a job somewhere. Kind of hard to do when the world is shut down. But I can't physically do the job I was doing before even if I wanted to. Can't handle the stress or the physical requirements. I don't know what the future holds, just have to get through today.

Quarantine Day ???

This is at least the second full week of voluntary quarantine. I still have zero motivation and spend my time reading. Yesterday I had two goals, shower and laundry. I did manage to get them both done. Or almost done, clothes still need to be folded and put away.

Have been spending the majority of my time on the patio as the weather has been pretty much perfect. It won't last, soon it will be too hot to be outside and then I can justify working in the craft room. It is just too dark in there right now. I think if I had windows and views, I could work in there now, but I don't so I'm not.

I touch bases on messenger with a couple of people in the morning, but other than that, no human contact.

Hoping this will all end sooner than later.