Cold

Winter is back, or, winter is here. It turned cold again about a week ago. Nights in the low 30's, days in the 60's. Just after I planted. Seeds aren't doing much of anything. I hope I haven't lost them all.

Started my geraniums indoors this year, and it has been too cold to put them out during the day and they are all leggy and some have died.

Even the enclosed garden is suffering, have lost several tomato plants.

Yesterday was just nasty. Cold, windy, cloudy. We got some sprinkles for about five minutes, but that was it. We didn't get our usual January rain, so the cactus bloom this year isn't going to be as good. Won't be much green in the desert at all.

My job has been frustrating. Lots of people calling in sick leaving us short handed. HUGE truck deliveries, so we are also way behind in stocking. Constant stress the minute I walk thru the door. I just discovered that my 20 hours vacation time isn't on my pay stub. Should have shown up at the end of the year. We get 20 hours for every six months, and the end of December would be a year and a half. It should show 20 hours vacation time. That will probably be a fight.

Monday was a sad day. It was the anniversary of Jake's death. I just started my ninth year without him. Hard to believe it has been that long, I still miss him each and every day. I guess my grief has reached the point where it is as good as it is going to get.

Today I am not feeling all that great. I think I am coming down with something. Last night I woke up off and on, either too hot or too cold, then too hot and then too cold. Funny taste in my mouth. Not really hungry, but needing to eat, and my coffee tasted terrible. Hopefully I will kick whatever it is trying to grab me before it gets too bad.

I finally made it over to the Farmers Market yesterday and was very disappointed. Only two vendors, fruit and honey, and no customers. I didn't buy anything as I still have grapefruit and don't use honey.  Went from there to the Salvation Army as I haven't been there yet this year, and there were no parking spots, so I just drove thru and came home. Wasn't worth getting showered and dressed. A wasted trip. Keith and I were supposed to go out to eat, but he started coming down with something and canceled. I ended up just putting my jammies on and tried to get warm. I had gotten chilled and couldn't get warm.

So this week I am a bit low.  Not happy with my job, no prospects in sight, not happy with my life as it is right now and not happy with the weather. I am discouraged and a bit depressed. OK, a lot depressed. It will pass. Always does.