Today is the day.

After four years of limbo, not knowing what I was going to do, how to do it, and where to go, things are finally falling into place. My building is under contract with a dollar store corporation, I'm selling off all of my stuff, and my new home is being picked up and delivered to me today. I actually won't see it until tomorrow, but it is still exciting knowing that it is in motion.

Four years ago, I couldn't even imagine a future without Jake. That wasn't our plan. We had intended upon selling out and hitting the road when his youngest turned 18. It wasn't all that long a wait, about another year, but Jake didn't make it to see his youngest turn 18, or the fine young man, husband and father he has turned into. I am so proud of him, and I'm sure his dad is too. Jake was my life, and I was happy with that.

Anyway, things happen, life turns on a dime, and here I am. Hopefully making the best of a bad situation. I don't have any major goals, or places that I just HAVE to see. The main goal is to get out of the six month long winters and hopefully find some place I can be content. Live a little. Jake may be gone, but I am still here. My current existence is just that, existing. Every day pretty much the same. Looking at the same thing day after day, nothing ever changing. And without family or close friends nearby, it is also pretty boring. I go days on end without seeing another human, and it is getting very old.

All I have seen of my new home is a few pictures, not very good ones at that. I'm looking forward to going over every inch of the RV and familiarizing myself with my new way of life. There is a lot to do before I launch, and am looking at possibly the end of June, mid July. I really want to see this old building come down and the new store started before I leave, as I most likely won't be back. Jake was the reason I am in Island Pond, and now that he is gone, there is no reason for me to stay.

So, even though I am still in limbo, with no closing date or target date, I will have plenty to keep me busy. Customizing and personalizing Ody (Odonata), moving in and dealing with the rest of my stuff, and adapting to an even smaller space, there is light at the end of the tunnel. :)

It is going to be a long day. Waiting....

Ody process of becoming like :  metamorphosis into (something specified) —chiefly in botanical terms <sepalody>
Odonata is an order of carnivorous insects, encompassing dragonflies

Symbolisms of the Dragonfly

• Maturity and a Depth of character
  The dragonfly, in almost every part of the world symbolizes change and change in the perspective of self realization; and the kind of change that has its source in mental and emotional maturity and the understanding of the deeper meaning of life. 
  
  The traditional association of Dragonflies with water also gives rise to this meaningto this amazing insect. The Dragonfly’s scurrying flight across water represents an act of going beyond what’s on the surface and looking into the deeper implications and aspects of life.


Power and Poise

• The dragonfly can move at an amazing 45 miles an hour,  hover like a helicopter fly backwards like a hummingbird, fly straight up, down and on either side. What is mind blowing is the fact that it can do this while flapping its wings a mere 30 times a minute while mosquitoes and houseflies need to flap their wings 600 and 1000 times a minute respectively. 
  
  The awe inspiring aspect is how the dragonfly accomplishes its objectives with utmost simplicity, effectiveness and well, if you look at proportions, with 20 times as much power in each of its wing strokes when compared to the other insects.  The best part is that the dragonfly does it with elegance and grace that can be compared to a veteran ballet dancer. If this is not a brazen, lazy, overkill in terms of display of raw power, what is?

• Defeat of Self Created Illusions
  The dragonfly exhibits iridescence both on its wings as well as on its body. Iridescence is the property of an object to show itself in different colors depending on the angle and polarization of light falling on it. 
  
  This property is seen and believed as the end of one’s self created illusions and a clear vision into the realities of life. The magical property of iridescence is also associated with the discovery of one’s own abilities by unmasking the real self and removing the doubts one casts on his/her own sense of identity. This again indirectly means self discovery and removal of inhibitions.

• Focus on living ‘IN’ the moment
  The dragonfly normally lives most of its life as a nymph or an immature. It flies only for a fraction of its life and usually not more than a few months. This adult dragonfly does it all in these few months and leaves nothing to be desired. This style of life symbolizes and exemplifies the virtue of living IN the moment and living life to the fullest. By living in the moment you are aware of who you are, where you are, what you are doing, what you want, what you don’t and make informed choices on a moment-to-moment basis. 
  
  This ability lets you live your life without regrets like the great dragonfly.

• The opening of one’s eyes
  The eyes of the dragonfly are one of the most amazing and awe inspiring sights. Given almost 80% of the insect’s brain power is dedicated to its sight and the fact that it can see in all 360 degrees around it, it symbolizes the uninhibited vision of the mind and the ability to see beyond the limitations of the human self. It also in a manner of speaking symbolizes a man/woman’s rising from materialism to be able to see beyond the mundane into the vastness that is really our Universe, and our own minds.