Day #???

I have no idea how many days we are into "social distancing", now "shelter at home". It isn't anything new to me to be alone. I spend most of my time alone anyway. The only difference now is that I am afraid to go out. I am one of the compromised. If I get sick, I will most likely die. La Paz county has it's first two confirmed cases. Pretty close to home.

I have to say tho, that I don't like it. Can't even do my weekly or bi-weekly visit with a friend, or Monday Morning coffee at the club house. My only social outlets. Painting is over for the season, so I don't even have that now. Can't walk up the street and visit with a neighbor. You would think I would be used to being alone by now.

I'm finding my stress, between no income and this pandemic, to be limiting. I have no motivation or creativity. I had been spending a lot of my time crafting, but haven't even had the energy to do that lately. I did get myself in there yesterday and made some cards. First time in a couple of weeks and they aren't very good, and only managed that because I didn't pick up my Kindle Fire and start reading at breakfast. If I pick up my Kindle, it is all over. I just read.

I don't know how many books I have read since Jake died in 2010, but it is a LOT. It is my way of escaping. While I am reading, I don't think about anything else. It is all I did those first weeks, probably months, after. It is all I am doing now.

If I can't manage to find the energy or creativity to get into the craft room, you KNOW I'm not exercising either. I have good intentions, but that seems to be as far as it goes. Sigh...

They say to plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow. I am still planting. I have ordered some iris and lily seed, which take even longer than tubers or bulbs. Still trying to learn gardening in this arid climate. Most everything literally bakes in the summer when it gets hot. But some mini daffodils I planted last year came back this year, so I have hope.

On the positive side of things, I have most of what I need for now. I only go out to get the mail, and most everything else I need I have ordered online or has been shared by very generous neighbors. My pantry is full, I have a few things growing in the garden and plenty of seed to grow more.

I'm hoping the stimulus thing gets approved and goes through, it would get me through another couple of months. I checked my disability app again this morning, still processing. Has been since November 4th when I appealed the first denial. I still have zero income, but a few people have been very generous and sent money. You know who you are and thank you very much. It means a lot to me, and will certainly help.

My health could be better, but it could also be much, much worse. I am grateful that I can still take care of myself and most everything I need to do. My balance is still off so I don't climb any ladders and always use the railing on the stairs.

Trying not to eat too much, a fall back when bored. My weight is still way up from the meds, and would really like to loose some of it. At least I have stopped gaining weight. Finally.

As of now, all is good. Lets hope this ends soon and life can get back to normal, whatever that is.