So very sad

We lost Lois on Sunday. Two and a half weeks after Rusty died. They will both be missed. Both COVID 19 with underlying health issues.

We also lost Hal on Wednesday. Age related illness. That is three in just three weeks here in the park. Friends and neighbors.

This is a very sad time. Just got word another friend will most likely loose her husband very soon. Parkinsons and cancer. It is beginning to be overwhelming. So much loss and sadness.

On the positive side, I decided it was time I did something, anything. I have done nothing but read for the last four or five weeks, and I am getting tired of that. I am taking steps to getting my life back, a whole new normal. I just signed up for the real estate class.

There are so many variables and unknowns. Will I be able to do it? Will I like it? Will I find work if I pass the exam and get licensed? I had to spend money on the class when I am out of funds and don't know where any will be coming from. A calculated risk. I hope it will pay off. I'm afraid I won't be able to understand it, but I have always done well in adult education classes and of course my copier repair training, so I should do well with this. But I am still afraid I will fail. But I need to earn some money and now is the perfect time to take the class since we can't go out and do anything. That was all before my surgery and pump head. Have had memory and cognitive issues since then. I'm hoping it has been long enough for my brain to recover. If not, I guess I will have to find a way around it.

Wish me luck.

Feedback welcome, donations also welcome

Well, what to write first....

Lois, we think, has finally turned a corner. Have been getting daily reports on her condition (COVID 19), and as of yesterday she is off the ventilator and dialysis. They say she is responding to commands. We are all very hopeful that she will recover. It was looking pretty grim for a while. Say a prayer.

My disability appeal was denied yet again. I now have a lawyer handling it, it could take up to a year to get a hearing. And I still don't qualify for unemployment. Thank goodness I had some savings, or I wouldn't have survived this long. Between my savings, contributions from people that care, and the few crafts I managed to sell, I haven't gone too far in debt. Right now it is basically the 4k worth of dental work I had done in November. I'm paying a little bit on it each month, but am out of money, so I don't know how long I will be able to do that, and no one is buying crafts.

My gofundme has done nothing, but is still active.  https://www.gofundme.com/f/7bwuv-healing-holly  It has been very disappointing. But with so many people out of work, kind of understandable.

Saw a post online yesterday from a friend in Vermont. She mentioned that she was thinking about getting her real estate license. It was a light bulb moment for me. That is something I could do here. The online classes and the whole process would be less than 1k, and I would have a career that would see me thru retirement. On MY terms. No corporate bullshit or expectations. A fairly light job, even I can move paper. No stocking shelves or excessive and freaky hours. I would basically be my own boss, which I do well with. And there is lots and lots of real estate for sale here.

I'm giving myself the weekend to think it over. I will decide on Monday. It is a 90 hour online class and exam, then the licensing exam. Then I would have to find a broker to work with. We have one right here in town. I might even qualify for unemployment for a bit while in training and testing. It would be an honest attempt at getting back into the work force. They like that kind of thing.

Feedback, comments and suggestions welcome.

Finally got my new phone up and working. That only took two weeks, but it is done, and my old number forwarded to my new number. I still haven't learned my new number, going to take some time.

Hoping now that we have hit the 100's in daytime temps, that I get some motivation and get some crafting done while I am stuck indoors. I need to make some sympathy and mother's day cards. I have a whole new batch of dies I haven't tried out yet. I also have several other crafts waiting in the wings I want to do, and painting. Haven't done any painting since the middle of March. It's been too nice out to be indoors. Enjoying the moderate temps while I could. I did make a few cards the other day as I had a request for a custom birthday card.

Again, any comments, feedback or suggestions on the whole real estate thing is welcome. There are very few jobs here in Quartzsite, and most of those are the kind of job that I can no longer do. Quickmarts, fast food, DG, Family Dollar... Regular jobs are few and far between and mostly seasonal.

My life completely changed in a heartbeat, and I am still adjusting and figuring things out. Contributions gladly accepted to get me through as well. And very much appreciated.

Quarantine Continued

I have no idea how long it's been. Granted, I stayed home most of the time, but I did have some social interaction. Now there is none. Can't go hang out or have a cup of coffee with anyone, can't go across the street to visit a neighbor, and only make one trip out per week to deal with food and mail.

I have been denied unemployment again, and disability has denied me again too. I have no idea how I am going to survive financially. I can't be the only person that slips thru the cracks. I don't have a spouse with income, don't seem to qualify for any kind of financial aid, and I have to say, I am very discouraged. Haven't been this discouraged in a long, long time.

Still waiting to get the new phone situated. Tried to port the number I have had for 15 years to my brother's account, they couldn't do it. So I am getting a new number. I wasn't willing to give up my old number, it is on everything. So I decided to port the old number to Google Voice. It took several tries and about four days, but I finally got it. Once the new number is up and running, I will forward the old number to the new number. Once the number was ported, my phone didn't work any more, so that meant no phone service. I downloaded the GV app and got it working, so I have limited phone service and can get voice mail if I am out of range. As long as I am within wifi distance, it works. Better than nothing.

I wish I could find a way to jump start any creativity, but depression and creativity don't go hand in hand. I will just have to wait it out, but feel guilty because all I am doing is reading. I didn't even get dressed for three days in a row. Why bother?

I did the post office and market run yesterday. Will have to go to the post office again on Monday to pick up my sim card and dried bean order. Otherwise I wouldn't be going out for another week.

My friend and neighbor lost her husband of 65 years the other day. She wasn't allowed to stay with him, so she wasn't there when he passed. I wasn't with Jake when he died either and I know how that feels. I feel so bad for her, and people aren't allowed to gather around her and support her. I know how that feels too. This virus will have so many far reaching effects that haven't been considered.

So with Rusty passing, the whole phone situation and the financial denials, it has been a pretty sucky week. I suppose it could always be worse. But I am pretty unhappy with life in general at the moment. Just have to wait it out.

I'm probably going to have to find a job somewhere. Kind of hard to do when the world is shut down. But I can't physically do the job I was doing before even if I wanted to. Can't handle the stress or the physical requirements. I don't know what the future holds, just have to get through today.

Quarantine Day ???

This is at least the second full week of voluntary quarantine. I still have zero motivation and spend my time reading. Yesterday I had two goals, shower and laundry. I did manage to get them both done. Or almost done, clothes still need to be folded and put away.

Have been spending the majority of my time on the patio as the weather has been pretty much perfect. It won't last, soon it will be too hot to be outside and then I can justify working in the craft room. It is just too dark in there right now. I think if I had windows and views, I could work in there now, but I don't so I'm not.

I touch bases on messenger with a couple of people in the morning, but other than that, no human contact.

Hoping this will all end sooner than later.

Weeding

Well I didn’t make anything yesterday. Instead I discovered part of my yard on the other side of the trailer and the back side of the house where I never go, was filled with weeds and I took care of those. With all the rain the weeds have gone crazy and the bunnies don’t touch them. It only took an hour or two, but being in the shape I’m in, it did me in for the rest of the day. All of this because I went and checked to see if the neighbors Argentine Giant cactus was blooming. It was.

Looks like there are several more blossoms to come. 

Took a few pics around the yard. I dug up a couple of bulbs that had been growing under the grapefruit tree, not sure what they are, they haven’t bloomed since they have been there. But I put them in the bottom planter with the other green thing I put in there a week or so ago. I had to wreck the roots, so I hope I didn’t totally kill them. The bunnies haven’t touched them. The bulbs were quite large, wasn’t expecting that. Something I must have tossed under the tree at some point. A lot of my compostables go under that tree.

Here are a few blooms from my yard.

      

I also cleaned up the little cactus garden area at the side of the driveway and rearranged the railroad ties I had been using as a tire stop for the car. Got one of the concrete ones a while back and that made the ties pretty much redundant. They are now outlining the little cactus garden area. 

  

The cactus are growing much slower now that they aren’t getting any more water than mother nature provides. Since we have had so much rain, there has been some noticeable growth, but no blossoms, and one of them didn’t make it at all. It went in the trash with the weeds. I might put one of the aloes out there, but not sure where. The aloes will eventually take over the area. I might try to get a couple of new cactus pups since they are on their own and won’t fill the area so fast. 

It felt pretty good being outside and doing something even if I did have to keep taking breaks. The sunshine is healthy as long as I don’t get too much and it doesn’t hit my scar. Would have been better if it had been warm enough to be in shorts, but I’ll take what I can get. 

Of course I spent the rest of the day reading on the patio. I’m outside as much as I can be. Tried to take a nap since I only had four hours sleep, but pretty much failed. And I only got about four so far tonight. I do want to try to get more. 

Picking up my iris seed at the post office today. My day lilies won’t be here until some time next week. I'm excited about getting some more bloomers going. Hoping they will survive the heat.

Day #???

I have no idea how many days we are into "social distancing", now "shelter at home". It isn't anything new to me to be alone. I spend most of my time alone anyway. The only difference now is that I am afraid to go out. I am one of the compromised. If I get sick, I will most likely die. La Paz county has it's first two confirmed cases. Pretty close to home.

I have to say tho, that I don't like it. Can't even do my weekly or bi-weekly visit with a friend, or Monday Morning coffee at the club house. My only social outlets. Painting is over for the season, so I don't even have that now. Can't walk up the street and visit with a neighbor. You would think I would be used to being alone by now.

I'm finding my stress, between no income and this pandemic, to be limiting. I have no motivation or creativity. I had been spending a lot of my time crafting, but haven't even had the energy to do that lately. I did get myself in there yesterday and made some cards. First time in a couple of weeks and they aren't very good, and only managed that because I didn't pick up my Kindle Fire and start reading at breakfast. If I pick up my Kindle, it is all over. I just read.

I don't know how many books I have read since Jake died in 2010, but it is a LOT. It is my way of escaping. While I am reading, I don't think about anything else. It is all I did those first weeks, probably months, after. It is all I am doing now.

If I can't manage to find the energy or creativity to get into the craft room, you KNOW I'm not exercising either. I have good intentions, but that seems to be as far as it goes. Sigh...

They say to plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow. I am still planting. I have ordered some iris and lily seed, which take even longer than tubers or bulbs. Still trying to learn gardening in this arid climate. Most everything literally bakes in the summer when it gets hot. But some mini daffodils I planted last year came back this year, so I have hope.

On the positive side of things, I have most of what I need for now. I only go out to get the mail, and most everything else I need I have ordered online or has been shared by very generous neighbors. My pantry is full, I have a few things growing in the garden and plenty of seed to grow more.

I'm hoping the stimulus thing gets approved and goes through, it would get me through another couple of months. I checked my disability app again this morning, still processing. Has been since November 4th when I appealed the first denial. I still have zero income, but a few people have been very generous and sent money. You know who you are and thank you very much. It means a lot to me, and will certainly help.

My health could be better, but it could also be much, much worse. I am grateful that I can still take care of myself and most everything I need to do. My balance is still off so I don't climb any ladders and always use the railing on the stairs.

Trying not to eat too much, a fall back when bored. My weight is still way up from the meds, and would really like to loose some of it. At least I have stopped gaining weight. Finally.

As of now, all is good. Lets hope this ends soon and life can get back to normal, whatever that is.

Who knew I could do this?

A year ago Christmas I was gifted with a set of acrylic paints, brushes and canvases. I finally got around to opening the paints and giving it a go after being invited to the twice weekly painting group. I have been having fun with it. Discovering my weaknesses and my strengths. There are a couple that I really like, and some not so much. Here they are in order of completion. Remember, I am a complete newbie, so I am pretty pleased with my efforts. All paintings are available either as an original or a print at a reasonable price. Reply below if there is something that catches your eye.

My very first painting.

 5x7 Koi

9x12 Antique Truck (Not one of my better ones IMHO)

8x10 Geraniums

 5x7 Bee and Thistle

Lavender

Pair of 3x3 canvases

5x7 Sheep

5x7 Emerging Snowdrop

9x12 Wildflowers

9x12 Lilacs

8x10 Outhouse from IP VT

5x7 Bunny

The outhouse painting is out of sequence, but it is my favorite so far. It is not for sale. The painting is from a photo taken in my front yard in Vermont. It has significant emotional memories. I would be willing to do a print tho, any size up to 8x10.

Painting group is done for the season, but I hope to continue and improve my work through the long, very hot summer here in AZ. I will try to remember to post them as I complete them. 

Here is one I did in alcohol inks last summer. I have had this one printed on canvas several times and it has come out well each time.