Tuesday, June 3, 2014

I thought we were making progress

I thought we were making progress and getting closer to a closing date, but yesterday I saw the site engineer marking spots to sink more ground water test wells next door  :(  To me, that is a step backwards. I'm beginning to think I am never going to get out of here, never get Ody road ready, and that nothing is ever going to change. It makes me want to cry. I am so sick of waiting and not being able to do anything about it. 

I need money to make Ody safe and road worthy. She needs all new tires, seven of them, her brakes need to be fixed, and she needs an oil change, hoses checked, and an inspection before I can take her anywhere. So here I sit, waiting, with a 25k rig that I can't even use. So I am now thinking it is time to break out a credit card and have the work done, and try to sell enough stuff to cover the costs or at least the monthly payments. I don't have much cash left, just what I made in my yard sales, so I can't use that, need it to pay bills since I have no income of any kind.

Yesterday was a beautiful day, in the 80's and sunny all day. I went for my walk around 11, the water was like glass. Lots of things to see and I didn't have my camera. I really should know better than to step outside the door without the camera, but it is so big and bulky and not easy to carry, so I leave it at home most of the time. I ended up grabbing my camera after I got back and going back out. Of course, by then, we had picked up a breeze and the water was no longer glassy and I had to go all the way to the end of the path making it a second walk. Still got some decent shots tho.

The loon caught itself a fish. You can just about see it in his bill. A couple of swallows and it was gone.

Thousands upon thousands of minnows along the shoreline, the whole distance.

And the geese have babies! Four little goslings. They were much closer on my first walk, but still half way decent pics. 

I try to keep myself and my mind busy. Quiet times lead to thinking and thinking leads to frustration and eventually depression. I try not to think how much I still miss Jake every day, I try not to think about the four plus years I have been waiting to get out of here, I try not to think about how alone I am. I just try not to think. 

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